The Salty Peanut Gallery

To the handful of readers that still follow this blog, I haven’t dropped off the face of the earth. I’ve been taking a little break from blogging. When I first started this site (that’s http://saltypeanutgallery.com for my facebook friends) I kinda made a commitment to myself to try and post at least something, even if it’s only a goofy video, once a week. A combination of writer’s block, a busy schedule and a recent change in priorities has caused me to interrupt that commitment. But now the holidays are over, it’s a brand new year full of hope and anticipation, and I find that I have a few more things I want to say.

And speaking of the New Year, made any New Year’s resolutions for 2011? Some New Year’s resolutions that are popular year after year in no particular order are:

* Lose Weight
* Get Fit
* Drink Less
* Get a Better Education
* Get a Better Job
* Manage Debt
* Manage Stress
* Quit Smoking
* Enjoy Life More
* Get Organized

Weight loss always seems to be a popular new year’s resolution, and this year is no exception. And like most resolutions it’s one that generally begins with the best of intentions and ends in futility. At least that’s been my experience. In fact I consider myself somewhat of an expert on weight loss, seeing as how throughout the course of my life I’ve very likely lost the equivalent of my entire body weight at least three or four times over. You see for me, the problem has never been losing the weight. The problem is in keeping it off…until now.

There’s nothing quite like being diagnosed with type 2 diabetes to really get your attention about the serious need for a total change in lifestyle. Fact is I wouldn’t have even known about it at all if it hadn’t been for a friend of mine who told me to stop being “a knucklehead” and go see a doctor about my high blood pressure. So I went and saw a doctor. Then I saw a diabetes specialist. Then I saw a registered dietitian. Between the three of them I learned that diets don’t work. Eating right and exercise does.

At first I had to really work at it. But after a while it started to become second nature. I was beginning to learn not only what to eat, but how much to eat. And the funny thing was that at no time did I ever feel like I was depriving myself. I was coming to a place where I discovered I could be satisfied eating considerably less.

But here’s the part that was really surprising to me. I found that by eating less I was actually enjoying it more. It was amazing. Food actually tasted better to me when I learned to eat it in moderation. It was incredible how the flavors just seemed to come alive. I’d never experienced anything like it. And then I discovered something else. This same principle of moderation works for a lot of other things as well.

Ecclesiastes 6:7 says, “All the toil of man is for his mouth, yet his appetite is not satisfied.” If life consists only of us striving to satisfy our appetites, what we discover is that our appetites are never satisfied. If life only consists of eating and drinking and living to be satisfied, then we are being controlled by our appetites, which makes us no better than the animals. Self-preservation may be the first law of life, but we are made in the image of God and our satisfaction is in something higher.

I checked my blood sugar this morning before breakfast and it was down below 100. (That’s good, by the way.) I couldn’t tell you how much weight I’ve lost. I don’t look at the scales. All I know is I’ve dropped two pants sizes and I’m nearly in the last belt loop of my second belt. And the beauty of it is I don’t even feel like I’m trying to lose weight. I’m thanking God for my type 2 diabetes, because God is using it to get my attention about a lot of things. We’re too soon old and too late smart. But it’s never too late to make a change. And this time it’s for good.

Dreams are funny things. At times they can seem so real they cannot possibly be dreams, at other times so bazaar they cannot possibly be real. They can reveal our deepest longings and our darkest fears. They can be so vivid you can’t stop thinking about them and so vague you barely remember you had one at all. They can be symbolic representations of the things we’re going through. Then there are those reoccurring dreams. We’ve all had them. You know the ones where you’re wearing no pants or where you’re falling or where your being chased. I dream about tornadoes.

Though I’ve never actually seen a tornado in person, I’ve always imagined the source of these dreams to be the result of a childhood experience in Wichita, Kansas when I was about five years old. I remember my mother getting me out of bed in the middle of the night and taking me downstairs to the basement. A storm was approaching and apparently a tornado watch was in effect. As we crept down the steps I noticed to my surprise there were others taking refuge in our basement, friends and neighbors seeking shelter from the impending storm. I remember sitting there for the longest time in anticipation of something so dreadful my young mind couldn’t even comprehend it. Eventually the danger passed, everyone went back to their respective homes and I was sent back to bed, almost disappointed the terrible event never happened.

Over the years I’ve had these reoccurring dreams of being near a tornado as it touches down and I watch as it destroys everything in sight. Sometimes I seek refuge, but usually I find myself trying to get a better look. Each time the dream seems so real; each time I think to myself, “This is it! This is what it’s really like!” And each time I wake with that same disappointment, discovering once again that it was only a dream.

I think possibly one of the things on my bucket list is to be a storm chaser. I imagine if I’m ever really in close proximity to a tornado, you’d find me heading straight toward it to get a better look instead of running for shelter. So if I ever die in a tornado, you’ll understand why.

Sarah Groves wrote a song one time about an individual in her life who is just like a tornado, where destruction, pain and hurt follows them everywhere they go. Everything they touch turns to rubble. You try to remove yourself from their path and just when you begin to find healing there they are “making a new mess”. Constantly dealing with this person becomes a battle that is so hard and so painful. Know anyone like that?

We all do. As Sarah puts it, you’d like to move and never send a forwarding address. I must confess I struggle with the tornadoes in my own life. My natural reaction is to withdraw myself from their path of destruction. Oh I’ll be polite and cordial. I usually don’t like to burn bridges with anyone, but the need for self-preservation often causes me to keep some people at arms distance.

The Apostle Paul knew all about dealing with problem people, that “thorn in the flesh” sent to keep us humble. Every church has its problems, because every one is full of problem people that are sinners saved by grace. It’s been said that if you ever find the perfect church, by all means, don’t join it; you’ll only mess it up. Paul identifies five categories of problem people that need discipleship so that they may grow:

And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all. See that no one repays anyone evil for evil, but always seek to do good to one another and to everyone. (1 Thessalonians 5:14-15)

There’s the idle, the fainthearted, the weak, those who try our patience, and those who do evil things. Our natural response is usually one of retaliation or rejection. We either want to deal harshly with them or we don’t want to have to deal with them at all. If they won’t behave themselves in the way that seems right to us, then we’d just as soon they go away and never come back.

But God has a different plan. As distasteful as it may seem, He desires to use us in some small way to restore the problem people He brings into our lives. We are to warn them, encourage them, help them, be patient with them, and above all, always seek to do good to them. Ouch! That’s tough. It goes against the grain and it certainly puts us in harms way. It requires an extra measure of God’s grace. There are times when it may be maddening. It may even seem to us like a complete manifest waste of time. But who knows how God may be using us to impact the life of another? Who knows how the goodness of God evidenced in us is having a positive affect on the tornadoes in our lives.

Our good friend, Byron spent the night with us over the weekend. He was in town for our annual fantasy football auction. He needed to be someplace early the next morning, so I got him out of bed at the crack of dawn. He showered, dressed and collected his things to head out the door. We said our goodbyes and as he opened the front door, the sun was just coming up over the horizon and you could see the mist rising from the field next door, rays of sunlight streaming through the trees.

“Man, that’s beautiful,” he remarked.
“Yes, it is,” I said.

And as he turned to go I began thinking about what a blessing it was to wake up every day to such a beautiful scene and how unfortunate it was that in the eleven years we’ve lived in that house I haven’t always appreciated it.

Recently, I had the opportunity to take some time off. After 19 years with barely a break the elders at our church had decided it was time for a sabbatical. In the nicest of ways they pretty much gave me no choice. It was nothing less than a blessing. During that time we were able to visit other churches. It gave me an opportunity to just sit and worship without having to produce anything. At times I found it to be overwhelming. The first few weeks I couldn’t even open my mouth during worship for the tears and the wells of emotion.

The time away was good for me. It renewed my passion for serving and restored in me a love for what I do. But it also helped me to be able to stop and smell the roses so to speak, to appreciate all the good things that God has given me.

There was this one morning in particular, I awoke up before daybreak and couldn’t go back to sleep. Rather than continuing to lay there in bed, I decided to get up and find something to occupy my mind. As I went into the living room, I noticed it was just beginning to get light outside. Our house faces due east and it suddenly occurred to me, as long as we’ve been living here, I’ve never watched a sunrise. So I went outside on the front porch and sat down to watch the splendor of God’s creation. For the longest time I did nothing but sit and watch and marvel at the beauty unfolding in my own front yard.

Since then I’ve begun to kind of view my front porch as a sort of sanctuary, my very own personal retreat. Sometimes in the evenings when it’s cool, I like to go out there and read or sometimes Mrs. Black and I will just sit and talk. It’s taught me an important lesson that I hope I never lose sight of. Sometimes we can get so wrapped up in where we are going that we never take time to really enjoy where we are. Now certainly I’m not advocating complacency. What I am advocating is the importance of learning how to be content.

The Bible talks a lot about contentment:

Philippians 4:11 “…for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content;”

1 Timothy 6:6 “But godliness with contentment is great gain.”

Hebrews 13:5 “…be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.’”

Galatians 6:9 “And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.”

See sometimes we become dissatisfied with the things God has provided and begin to get complacent and lose heart. “I’m tired of the things you’ve given me, Lord. I want what other people have. I want to do things my way.” Or sometimes our tendency is to get impatient with God while we’re waiting on Him to answer our prayers or fulfill our needs or rescue us from our infirmities. Sometimes we grow weary in our circumstances and we begin to think, “What’s the use?” Sometimes we feel like we need to take matters into our own hands.

That’s why contentment is so important. Being discontent only distracts us from being able to enjoy all the good things God has given us. Being content with God’s goodness leaves no room for craving the things we don’t have or desiring the things we shouldn’t do. Contentment comes as we find satisfaction in the sufficiency of God’s provision. With contentment comes thankfulness. With contentment comes peace of mind.

Lord, teach me to enjoy all that you have for me today, all your mercies new every morning. Help me learn to rely on your great faithfulness and to be content.

As a worship pastor I’m constantly on the look out for raw talent that needs a little encouragement, those diamonds in the rough that just need a little coaxing in the right direction to bring out that natural ability yet unrealized. Looking back over the years it’s been a pleasure to see the various individuals who’ve started out timid, inexperienced and self-effacing, but with a nudge in the right direction blossomed into truly gifted musicians. Of course the down side is there’s always the danger of creating a monster. A little encouragement goes a long way. Too much and you may have created a prima donna.

It’s hard sometimes for people who minister through the performing arts to find a happy medium between stage fright and narcissism. For some people the basis for their self-worth can become dependent on how well they’re received by an audience. I’ve found this particularly true even among many professional musicians. Pastors can even find themselves getting sucked into this trap.

When I was younger I used to go through a sort of mental gymnastics before getting up to perform. A battle would ensue inside my head over pride. It was as if I had a little angel perched on one shoulder whispering in one ear, “All for Jesus! All for God’s glory!” and a devil perched on the other shoulder whispering, “This is gonna be good! Boy are people gonna love this!” Sometimes I could hardly sing for being so distracted.

Then in college I heard a statement once that helped me lay all that to rest. I remember going to see the movie “Chariots of Fire”, a 1981 British film that tells the true story of two athletes in the 1924 Olympics. Eric Liddell was a devout Scottish Christian who ran track for the glory of God. Harold Abrahams was an English Jew who ran track to overcome racial prejudice. In the film there was a quote I’ll never forget. Eric Liddell was asked the question, “Why do you run?” His answer was profound. “I believe God made me for a purpose, but He also made me fast. And when I run I feel His pleasure.” Wow! I thought to myself, “That’s it! That’s why I sing.” From that moment on I realized that I don’t ever have to be ashamed of wanting people to enjoy my performance or being proud of the way I sing. God made me for a purpose, but He also made me with a voice. And when I sing I feel His pleasure! What could be better than that? It was such a blessing to be able to put that battle to rest once and for all.

Thirty years later I find myself struggling with another battle. Ever see the movie “City Slickers”? Billy Crystal plays a middle aged man going through a midlife crisis on his birthday. He pretty much sums it up this way:

Have you ever had that feeling that this is the best I’m ever gonna do, this is the best I’m ever gonna feel… and it ain’t that great?

You know I really truly believe that so many of the foolish things that pastors do in their ministries is because of this reality right here, this feeling of desperation, this sense of being trapped with no way out. Some men respond by leaving their churches for greener pastures. Others get all caught up in the hottest new church growth fads or gimmicks. You wake up one morning and look around and you say to yourself, “Is this all there is? Is this as good as it gets?”

I know this because I’ve spent a lot of time asking myself the same question. Then one day it dawned on me. All that any of us really has to offer is loaves and fishes. No matter how good we think we are, no matter how insignificant, all anyone really has to offer in this life is loaves and fishes.

You remember the Sunday school lesson about the boy who gave his lunch away? We sometimes refer to it as “The Feeding of the Five Thousand”. It’s recorded in all four of the gospels, but John’s account makes mention of a lad who was willing to give what little he had.

A large crowd of people had followed Jesus and the disciples to the top of a mountain and had begun to gather all around. As the crowd approached a discussion arose over how they might feed such a host of people. Peter’s brother, Andrew, spoke up. “There’s a young boy here with five barley loaves and two fishes. But what good is that with this huge crowd?”

And you know the rest. Jesus took the little boy’s lunch broke it, blessed it, gave to the disciples and they distributed it. When the people had eaten their fill they gathered up the leftovers and there were twelve baskets full, just enough for the disciples.

That’s what I think of whenever I get up to lead worship or teach a Sunday school class or direct a concert. I think of a little boy who has nothing to give but five barley biscuits and two small fish. Did the little boy feed the five thousand? Certainly not! And neither can we. Did Jesus need the little boy in order to accomplish His Kingdom work? Of course not. And by the way he doesn’t need you or me either. But wasn’t it nice of Jesus to let a seemingly insignificant child participate in some small way in accomplishing something miraculous? And isn’t it nice of Jesus to do the same for you and me.

So the next time you’re feeling too big for your britches or the next time you’re feeling inadequate or insignificant just think of the little boy. Whether you’re a mega church pastor or a children’s Sunday school teacher, all any of us really has to offer the Lord is loaves and fishes. But offer them anyway. He likes for you to become involved with Him in the things that He’s doing.