Beware of Rooftops
February 23rd, 2009
Last week the Chicago Sun-Times reported on the resignation of a local area church pastor due to misconduct. Members of the congregation were told, “He admitted to sexual impurity and has taken full responsibility for his sin [and] has expressed a desire to participate in a restoration process.” No details have been reported, thankfully, but such stories always give me pause to reflect on my own vulnerability.
My old college buddy, Matt Willmington, recently wrote a great post on Locking the Rooftop Door, citing 2 Samuel 11:
“One evening David got up from his bed and walked around on the roof of the palace.”
Matt writes:
“I once had a pastor who built some specific fences in his life. He’d tell the congregation ‘if I’m driving in a rain storm, and one of you ladies is broken down along the road – I’m not stopping for you!’ We all laughed, and it seemed a little extreme. But we knew what he meant. He dearly loved his wife, and would err on the side of caution to stay away from temptation.”
I knew that pastor well. My wife and I had the privilege of calling him our pastor for many years. I remember hearing that wise man sharing his fences and I can tell you this. No one ever questioned his integrity. Matt goes on to share some “fences” of his own:
“These ‘rooftop door deadbolts’ may seem a little legalistic – that’s ok, because they are MY deadbolts.
What are yours?
1. What Internet pictures/content am I viewing, lingering on?
2. Am I following or connecting with any women inappropriately on Facebook, Twitter?
3. Am I communicating inappropriately with any women through email?
4. Am I communicating inappropriately with any women through texting?
5. Which women have my cell phone number?
6. Am I socializing singularly, or growing a close friendship with any women?
7. Am I spending time counseling any women alone?
8. Am I working too closely with any women on staff?
9. Am I looking at, or thinking about women inappropriately?
10. Who are the men who hold me accountable spiritually for my moral life?
11. Is my wife aware of my struggles, weaknesses?
12. Do I look at my wife when we talk, do I watch her?
13. Do I daydream about my wife?
14. Do I listen to my wife when she is sharing her thoughts?
15. Do I show physical affection to my wife?
16. What plans, visions do I have for my wife’s life?
17. Do I work to help my wife grow spiritually?
18. Do I work to add value to my wife’s life?
19. Do I empower my wife to pursue her dreams, passions, interests?
20. Do I pray with my wife?
21. Do I serve my wife?
22. Do I help my wife parent our children?
23. Do I protect my wife?
24. Do I lift, carry my wife’s burdens?
25. Do I build my wife’s self-image with affirming words?”
Thanks for the “rooftop door deadbolts” analogy my friend. It’s a great reminder to all of us.