The Salty Peanut Gallery

The City Council of Brighton, Michigan has adopted a series of city ordinance amendments that has a lot of people talking. Referred to by many as the “annoyance ordinance”, these revisions were originally intended to provide a tool for law enforcement in responding to harassment incidents, but because of the silly wording could pose serious constitutional challenges.

According to a memorandum issued by Police Chief Thomas Wightman, the amendments make it illegal to:

“…insult, accost, molest or otherwise annoy, either by word of mouth, sign, or motion any person in any public place.”

“…repeatedly commit acts that alarm or seriously annoy another person and that serve no legitimate purpose.”

Sure sounds like an “annoyance ordinance” to me. Rather than admit their screw up, however, city officials have posted a disclaimer on their website denying the existence of any such ordinance. Attempting to justify the amendments, Chief Wightman cites the use of similar language in the ordinances of numerous other communities in Michigan. Birmingham, Dearborn Heights, Farmington Hills, Lansing, Milford, Northville, Oak Park, Rochester, Rochester Hills, Royal Oak and Wyandotte all have “annoying” laws on their books.

Gary Glenn, head of American Family Association of Michigan, is concerned that such language could be detrimental to free religious expression. He explains:

“I think this ordinance in Brighton is clearly unconstitutional in that it attempts to restrict people’s exercise of their free-speech rights based on the content of their speech. That’s clearly viewpoint discrimination. If someone dared, in a public place in Brighton, expressed their sincere religious conviction — for example, that homosexual behavior is sinful — obviously if someone was offended or insulted or even ‘annoyed,’ as the ordinance says, they might try to bring charges against somebody for merely expressing their sincerely held Christian beliefs.”

Glenn is not alone in voicing concern. Some Brighton residents say the law violates their constitutional right to free speech. Others, like Claudia Kowalski, are snickering about it. “I wonder if the police can ticket my husband for leaving his socks all over everywhere?” she said.

Now I can’t say for sure if it’s really the intent of the Brighton City Council to limit the constitutional freedoms of its citizens. Something tells me that Mr. Glenn is being a tad alarmist. I guess that’s his job in engaging the cultural war. Personally I think Mrs. Kowalski has the right idea. Some things are just so ridiculous you just gotta laugh. What this ordinance needs is some examples of the “legitimate purposes” that constitute annoying behavior so that we can clear up any confusion. Here are some suggestions that come to mind:

Mimes

The sound of chewing

Driving slow in the passing lane

Pronouncing “nuclear” as “nuke-you-ler”

Using the word ”like” in every sentence

Toothpaste in the bottom of the sink

Wearing too much cologne

Pointlessly forwarded e-mail

Incessant texting

Telemarketers

Any more suggestions?

James Taylor “At Christmas”

From the makers of GodHatesFags.com and the music video that swept the nation, “God Hates the World”, comes a brand new music release for Christmas, “Santa Claus Will Take You to Hell” to the tune of “Santa Claus Is Coming to Town”. That’s right. Those wacky kids at Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka, Kansas are at it again. Seems they couldn’t resist getting in on the fun over at the state capitol building in Olympia, Washington. They’ve asked permission to post the lyrics to their inspirational new yuletide carol alongside the Nativity, three signs mocking atheism, and the antichristian sign that start it all.

You my recall the national attention over a sign positioned near the Nativity by the Wisconsin-based Freedom From Religion Foundation, Inc promoting the observance of the winter solstice and condemning organized religion:

“At this season of the winter solstice may reason prevail. There are no gods, no devils, no angels, no heaven or hell. There is only our natural world. Religion is but myth and superstition that hardens hearts and enslaves minds.”

As you can well imagine, the sign created quite a firestorm. At one point the governor’s office was receiving up to 200 phone calls an hour. The sign has also opened the door for other outrageous requests including displays depicting such things as “The Spaghetti Monster” and the Seinfeld “Festivus” pole. Not to be outdone, the Westboro bunch determined to add their two cents worth. Here’s some of what’s on their display:

“You’d better watch out, get ready to cry, You’d better go hide, I’m telling you why ‘cuz Santa Claus will take you to hell. He is your favorite idol, you worship at his feet, but when you stand before your God He won’t help you take the heat. So get this fact straight: you’re feeling God’s hate, Santa’s to blame for the economy’s fate, Santa Claus will take you to hell.”

Heart warming, isn’t it? And for my money, what better way to express the love of Christ at Christmastime.